Gaping Gill Mystery Tour… or Who The $#!& Is Steve?

Claire, Will (aka Mark or Matt) & Ray (aka Steve) with special guest appearances by Pete Sykes & Jean Brooksbank (BPC)

The Bradford winch meet seemed too good an opportunity to miss, given that most of the entrances to the system would be pre-rigged, so 3 of us set off for Clapham on a fine May morning with no particular plan. We arrived in the village around 09:30, easily early enough to get a good parking spot up by the church… or so we thought. Not a chance! There were cars everywhere. We ended up parked back out towards the A65. We were later told that the winch meet is now so popular with tourists that they were turning people away at 08:30. Apparently people start turning up at the booking-in tent up by Main Shaft at 05:30. Perhaps they need to charge more?

The walk up was pleasant enough, although it must have been a bit hot for Will who didn’t get the memo about walking up in normal clothes and getting changed up there. Then, of course, we had to decide where to go. Will had never been in the system before, so was happy with anything as long as we saw Main Chamber. Claire had been before from Stream Passage to Bar. She was adamant that she didn’t want to come out of Bar again. So a reasonable plan was to go in Marilyn, have a poke around in Hensler’s Master Cave then take New Hensler’s crawl through to SE Passage, do a quick out and back to Main Chamber then exit via Flood Entrance/Wade’s. The only potential issue with this excellent plan was that our guide (yours truly) wasn’t sure he could remember the route through New Hensler’s. Assurances were sought and given that failure to find the route through to SE Passage would not result in bodily harm of any sort. After all, we could simply return back out via Marilyn if it all went Pete Tong.

A quick change, even quicker visit to the toilet block, check-in at Main Shaft and stroll over to Marilyn entrance saw us joining the queue to descend. Directly ahead of us were a nice duo from BPC – Pete & Jean. Pete sounded very knowledgeable about the system, so I resolved to stick as close to him as possible, especially since they were planning to use New Hensler’s to get to SE Passage. If only I could keep him in sight, I may just be able to bluff the others that I too was very knowledgeable.

Now, I can only suppose that excitement about such an amazing trip (or was it nervousness about being guided by a an incompetent fool?) got the better of Claire at this point as she took to referring to Will as Mark or Matt (alternately) and Ray as Steve. Whatever the reason, it was useful to be able to blame Steve for any subsequent mishaps.

The entrance pitch is a series of short drops. Some of these are a bit on the snug side – no problem sliding down, but I could already feel mounting pressure to find SE Passage with each muttering about it possibly being a bit awkward to re-ascend. Hmmm… is Pete still in view?

The 2nd pitch (Niagra) is famously loose. One wall is essentially just a loose collection of cobbles and boulders. Things have definitely improved in recent years with the addition of 2 rebelays, rather than a single deviation. Even so, we took the precaution of ensuring that the previous person was clear of the pitch before the next started to descend. This took a while for the 3 of us to get down. On the positive(?) side, a choir of students from Cambridge waiting at the bottom of the pitch kept us entertained(?) with various caving songs, some of which I thought had died out years ago. What they lacked in tunefulness they made up for in enthusiasm. On the negative side, there was now no chance of catching Pete & Jean. We would be condemned to crawling aimlessly around various Hensler-themed scrot holes before admitting defeat and struggling back out of Marilyn.

The remaining descent of Marilyn (which is now really Disappointment) went smoothly, consisting of 3 more nice pitches with the odd bit of passage in between. The last pitch is particularly nice. At the bottom of this, a scramble down the boulder pile leads into a low passage on the way to the master cave. Much to our surprise (and my relief), who should we meet here but Pete & Jean. They had specifically waited for us. An act of extreme generosity… or had we come across as so incompetent that they had no other choice? Let’s give them (or do I mean us?) the benefit of the doubt.

We set off as a group of 5 along Hensler’s Master Cave, with Pete’s extensive knowledge of the area coming to the fore with various tales and descriptions. The master cave grows to impressive dimensions initially. Even when the size decreases, it is still pleasant walking for the most part, with various formations and features to marvel at. Eventually Jean stopped, but Pete escorted us to the ladder leading up to the Blowhole and eventually the Far Country. Pete turned round here… fair enough. But we couldn’t come all this way and not at least climb the ladder for a look at the Blowhole. We would have to be quick, but hopefully we could catch Pete & Jean again and all would be well.

 The ladder up to the Blowhole is actually a double ladder, the old one being still in place behind the newer one. This would be fine if the rung spacing was identical… but it isn’t! The passage at the top is a muddy crawl. The way onward is to the right. Another passage heads left, but we didn’t explore this. After a bit of crawling we eventually arrived at the Blowhole. It’s many years since I was last through it… I can only suppose I was a MUCH smaller man back then. To say it didn’t look inviting is an understatement. Will is no mug and quickly declared himself out. For a while, though, it looked like we might be able to cajole Claire into making an attempt. Alas, sense prevailed in the end. We’ll add it to the list of places to return to.

All this tomfoolery meant we would really have to leg it to catch Pete & Jean again. So off we set. Sadly there was no sign of them even at the start(?) of New Hensler’s. Off up it we set, crawling for all we were worth. If only we could crawl fast enough we could probably still catch them before getting too lost. The first definite sign that things had gone a bit awry was when we emerged into the bottom of Hensler’s High Aven, complete with rope for the final pitch of Hensler’s Pot. Now, while I don’t remember all the details of New Hensler’s, I was pretty sure it didn’t pass this aven. Oh dear. Should I admit we were wrong and backtrack in an attempt to find the route we wanted? Fearing for the health of my various bodily appendages, I decided against this course of action. There were really only 2 places we could be – Old Hensler’s or Mud Hensler’s. Old goes on a bit, but would eventually take us toward Main Chamber. Mud would be miserable, but would give us a very nice round trip.

Beyond the aven, things got muddier and wetter. That probably answers that one then – we must be in Mud Hensler’s. Again, it’s so long since I’ve been that I couldn’t be sure. Then the ducks arrived. And not the quacking sort. The miserable, freezing, ear in the water sort. The sort that spelled doom for my man parts if this passage didn’t lead somewhere. Then the character changed. No longer were we crawling. We were in a tightish muddy rift. Climbing up, we thankfully emerged into something big. Now, if that was Mud Hensler’s, we should be very close to Mud Hall. Being winch meet, there should also be a rope dangling down from Corky’s. At first I couldn’t see any rope, but was more relieved than you can imagine to eventually spot it. And, just a few steps further, the vastness of Mud Hall. YES! The day was saved. Even I can find my way out from there. It must be pointed out that, through all of this misery, Will was dragging a tackle sack. He didn’t once complain – even when it got stuck in the most miserable part of the crawl. He’s made of harder stuff than me.

The mood was now considerably lighter as we made our way along and then up Mud Hall into East Passage, eventually emerging high up the east side of Main Chamber. It’s always an impressive sight, but particularly rewarding to introduce someone new to it. Will was such a virgin and was suitably blown away. We stuck around Main Chamber for a while to wash off some of the excess mud, take photos and chat with some of the Cambridge students we’d met at the bottom of Niagra in Marilyn. God knows how they’d got there as they were on their way out when we passed them earlier.

Then onwards again, along South Passage, then SE Passage to SE Pot. Our plan was to climb the rope here and exit via Flood/Wade’s, but there was a bit of a queue waiting to go up. So we carried on to the Bar Pot main pitch. Now, those of you who have been paying attention will remember that Claire’s one specific demand of the trip is that we didn’t go out via Bar Pot. So she was understandably perturbed at this point. Not to worry – at the top of the greasy slab, we were able to crawl through to the entrance pitch of Small Mammal. Phew!

While waiting for some people to be lowered down the Bar Pot main pitch, we got talking to a BPC member, Roisin. She lives in Penrith and may be interested in joining KCC for some midweek fun. Let’s see if she makes contact.

This was an excellent trip. I have no idea how long we were underground for. It felt like a long time, but it really doesn’t matter. Will’s grin on exiting… and all the way back down into Clapham… summed up the day perfectly. To paraphrase Sid Perou… what a way to spend a Saturday.

Photos by Will.